Those things that never came back.

© All Rights Reserved. A Pratik Pakrashi photography|2011

“And when the lights were off,  the darkness overwhelmed me, i felt i was lost, i felt i’m marooned and anything that was left with me were the mere memories of beautiful lights…. “

                     The dusty roads, the wars, the wind and swaying leaves; the hunger, the unheard cries, the solemn soul and the helpless shoulder, everything speaks for a while. He who cannot understand the enigma, can never portray through his soul and he who portrays it well is no one but a  real photographer !

Some says its passion, some says its profession, some says its all about owning a costly camera but i say its about INSIGHT. We walk, we talk, we sing, we dance, we love, we laugh, we cry, we die… and then all that we need is to save them with ourselves forever, that’s when we ‘click’ !

Recently, i met a person, sounds to me as a war front photographer. He was calm, resolved and had a depth in the pitch of his voice. With a desolated look how hard he tried to explain me what happened to the soldiers i saw in his photographs. He told me about the pain, agonies of those soldiers and the blink of happiness and pride over the faces as they sacrificed their souls. He was, although, quite reluctant to his opinions, something that were shading his words, like, a growling cloud on a stormy night! For moments there was utter silence and later i could see a drop of pearl through his eyes rolling down over his cheeks. I was left silent as he spoke the real memories he had with those photographs. They were his feelings. I could sense the benevolence. It was not about what happened during the moment he freezed, it was not about how much glory that single photograph had or how much recognition it got from media, but, it was about what happened to that person after the very moment he clicked ! He could never know whether the man in his photograph really lived or died later, he could never explain himself that what could have been more better than to save his life or to get it clicked. Both were the acts of honor!  And how hard he wished, he could see that man ever again in his life !

This is just one part of the story, there are millions of stories like this in this world. I believe every photographer has a story behind each of his/her photographs, the story – sometimes resolved, sometimes still a conundrum. A photographer is not merely a person with camera… he is a writer who writes a story of his own through his insight.

So.. as he concluded about the war; all i heard was an immensely felt pain emerging out through his heart “And when the lights were off,  the darkness overwhelmed me, i felt i was lost, i felt im marooned and anything that was left with me were the mere memories of beautiful lights…”

 - Pria G.

Your comments are awaited!

Far Away

Before i push my memories to end,

Close my eyes & let a new dream began,

I just want you to know -

You’re far, far away

From all the things i meant,

From my comfort & pains,

You’re far once again…

Before i scribble my last words down

And make my home in a new town,

I just want you to know –

You’re far, far away

From all the things i meant,

From my comfort & pains,

You’re far once again…

I know, not what

The world taught

Me to say,

I blame myself for all the pain

I know, not where

i’d belong,

But i’ll stay

In a place from where nobody could go away.

‘coz you’re far, far away

From all the things i meant,

From my comfort & pains,

You’re far once again…

How hard i tried not to let you go,

But what i believed, had never turned so,

I loved you till the end, but i know

You’ve gone far, far away

From all the things i meant,

From my comfort and pains,

You’re far….. Once again….

Being me…. (These days – an extract from my diary)

Its so hard being me,

always in conflicts

a high tide deep inside me

waiting when it sits…

a long way to go,

no one in the sight

i see my moon glow

there is no street light

the road is spread

the heart is crumpled

my life is fed

on success, but its jumbled.

Probably its last road i take

wish I’ll be through

Thereafter its me who’ll make

the lives to do

to do things for good

do things for humans

to spread roads further

till he summons….

Help me my lord

before i go out there,

Show me the right path

before i say my little prayer.

What if i die tomorrow

will you ever send me back

to the place called earth

out of your heavenly stack?

I want just one life

content, courageous , nice and short

will you believe in my dreams

And not make it distort?

I need you, you know that

your worth is not at all absurd

for me you exist in my soul

Please! dont make me a coward….

Can you for once just let your eyes open,

And see me as one of your child

in the open ocean

i can see my dreams coming true

please! dont leave me undone!

I’m also in pain

like the thousands standing under this rain

and lightening cruelly struck

to my enchanting luck!

Half of me has already gone

I think twice now before I long

To wish for a new face

Or again begin this race

In a new world, new time, new rhyme

Let me either go insane

Or return me my life once again.

Its only you.. you.. and you..

Who acquaints my little journey through

Who knows every tear I put on,

On the lifeless paper

Or the long dried ink gone

Know that I’m your little child now

Give me a reason to shine

I beg you to give one look at me

Im lone, dulled and pityfied…

An idiom of life

So difficult to strife

Give me a chance to make a life new

Coz one day I know, I’ll happily adieu… adieu… adieu…

WITH LOTS OF LOVE TO MY GOD,

Pria 4th July 4, 2010

My broken Rhapsody

On behalf of my friend to his beloved:

No,
It’s no more about
‘You & me’
No,
It’s no more about
‘Us & We’
No,
It’s no more together
‘I and You’
Because,
Now it’s just my own
‘INDIVIDUALITY’


No,
I don’t care if you still wait,
No,
I don’t care you love me or hate,
No,
I don’t care you’re a predator or prey,
Because,
I’m sure you’ll bring another bait.


No,
No more phony calls on your way,
No,
No more last words to say,
No,
No more reasons left to stay,
Because,
I’m sure there is nothing else to repay.


Yes,
I’m happy with the stars alone,
Yes,
They are more faithful than you; I have nothing to mourn,
Yes,
No seeds of pain are left to be grown,
Because,
I’m sure you’ll agonize again if my pain is shown.

From me to my friend (a rebut):

FATE’ is the name of a much living disaster
‘HAPPENINGS’ are just predicaments
‘SINGULARITY’ is the much painful word lived today,
Hence, grammar seems to be a lament!
Love is just a mere sacrifice,
Lust is what we all suffice,
Age brings truth,
Emotions now are lies;
It flies;
With the prodigy & lands when the teen hood dies!
Think,
Everyday I meet thousands of faces,
One such face is not easy to find,
Everyone is rushing to win some races,
(Some love, some lies, some egos, some fight)
Least will interest to spare you their time!
Bringing tears Day & Night,
Pulling up the belt so tight,
Stretching up the fight,
Won’t help keeping either of you ‘Right’
It’s just like MISS or HIT,
Like the metal chicks groping in mosh pits,
When the punk-stars bang their bands
As the day falls into one night stands.
Stop crying you IDIOTA!
Tears are worth than texts
Care for the one who cares for you
And kick that opposite sex! (c’mmon girl)
Sing yourself,
Oops! This is just me…..
May be little grunge & sometimes too filthy
But I’m better than you, coz I stand for what I’m supposed to be!
Yes,
I don’t wanna live; I was born to be free…
I don’t wanna live my friends…

With lots of love,

Pria

The Silly Walk

It’s the same silly evening
Old & past,
Where memories walked hand in hand,
Yet fading so fast…

The same silly birds,
Swinging on the electric wires,
Till it tuft on the ground-
As the evening dew perspired!

The same silly road,
I walked, when it rained;
Since ages passed the last I stepped;
I’m walking here again!

The same silly wind,
Flirting with my hair -
Singing the same symphony
Swirling into my ear!

The same silly dusk; old, dark & rust,
Toiled the hopping toad,
Under the trees when, sky turned gold
At the end of this road!

The same silly smile passed me by,
To see the same things again;
The forgotten pages of the old street
Brought back regret insane!

The time, far – ranged…
Yet silly things were same,
Just things like ‘you’ & ‘me’ were changed
And I,
I returned home (as always) lone and lame…!


I rate this 3/5. Please do rate and comment..!

An ode to Ruskin Bond

AN ODE TO MY FAVORITE AUTHOR


I am a philosopher without a philosophy,
Always ready to tell a new little story,
About a dreamy day, about a lovely yesterday,
Of a hot April and a hotter May.

I write poetry before I could forget,
How really beautiful life can get,
About black clouds and the fogs of Dehradun,
Of the rains which shall set upon the hills; soon.

Love has always been my biggest mystery,
Perhaps in some ways a begotten destiny,
From an unknown railway platform on a lonely night,
From lovely little eyes; dark, shiny and bright.

Its been ages since I planted my cherry tree,
Today it grows among bushes and wild country,
And though I’ve grown fatter than it has grown tall,
I still run like a boy to see the snow fall.

In the modern times I still exist,
Like a relic from the past ages,
On the money from my books I subsist,
Without urban tensions, without costly appendages

Do not quit!

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit-
It’s when things go wrong that you must not quit.

This poem is dedicated to all hopeless people

Her……

                  It was the early period of winter, dusky sky, hazel blued clouds, dripping rains, killing breeze & the branches of the mango trees murmured as the core of silence deepened in the curfew. Every single body of flesh and blood were hiding under their shelters; except, a resident of benivilla – as evident; was seen breaking up the silence in an indisputable flustered condition. Nobody was ready to come out and help in adversity but everyone enjoyed a free entertainment in neighbourhood. Everyone was eager to know the matter. There was a constant check on every neighbour’s window when suddenly the main door opened….

And there comes a skinny lady with a wheatish tan probably in her mid-thirties with her floundering hair swaying above her dark deer eyes, she constantly hustled and shouted in pain for a help where silence was louder than her agony. She was having labour pain! Half a mile barely did she manage to walk in search for some transportation & fortunately she got one! Just a yard away from the hospital, the rickshawala stopped. She asked in low timber to get her through the hospital but it was difficult to move even one inch ahead on the road, as; the road was completely crowded with the cohorts and the protagonist – “Rajiv Gandhi”. It was difficult to believe that the same road which carried miles of silence was now a sonic hub & there were the fear of protestors who may raise a riot into the fire…

She was struggling to take high breathe, turning pale and numb, constantly perspired- the rickshawala was helpless though he panicked. So the lady decided to cut through the mob and make way to her destination, somehow she was well ‘determined’. She untied the knot of her odhani and covered her paunch… removed her jewelleries and stuffed them in her purse. With a contorted position she started tearing the crowd. She was dragged, pushed and stumbled at a time, her condition was getting worse, the noises that were highly pitching her ears had started getting faint, and she was breathing very low though she kept walking. Even at one moment the crowd pushed her so badly that she fell down on her knees & got bruised. She trembled and started crying and praying for a new life. But she got the courage to stand and walk again. Just when she was near the gates of her nursing home, she tried to peak from the middle of those raised hands in case somebody from the judicial monarch would help her enter the hospital. Fortunately, a body guard saw her and helped her to get rid of the crowd. She admitted herself as soon as possible as a casuality case. The last thing she remembered before closing her eyes was the pinching anaesthetic injections. A normal case went serious and after 4 hours of surgery she gave birth to a young little skinny girl with a wheatish tan and dark curled floundering hair and deer eyes just like her.

Thursday, 11:48 pm; 30th November, 1989 – a new life existed not just by god’s grace but by the wisdom, courage and strength of ‘my mother’. Today when I write these lines, I share the proudest moments of womanhood. I respect your efforts and all the struggles that you underwent to bring me into existence. I respect my life and no matter whatsoever difficulties I may encounter ahead in future, I would never think of giving up this life made so special by you.

Thanks MOM!

Provenance, Process & Product

 People believe the cosmos rules our life; they have a strong effect on our wellbeing, our potentials and our very own existence! Isn’t it strange – blaming fate? Who has seen the fate? Does it even exist? And if yes, then how does it look like? What is its form? Science claim to have all the answers but something’s are never known! Yet, The answer lies within the three P’s…. “Provenance, process & product” Remember the words of Prof. S. Ganpathi? He teach us how to follow the foot prints of this globe, he envisions the real ‘present is the key to the past’ with his three P’s. He jumbles these P’s, plays with his words and how easily does he makes us see through his eyes the past, present and our future! And finally, we end up concluding that today what we see is nothing but a sheer result of the past processes. Present is indeed a key to the past! Well, so is it just restricted to a subject or does it conceal any deeper meaning? Yes, it does. Karma- isn’t it a key to the past? We; the humans, our vivid colours, characters, potentials & all of such things lie within our karma.

 Karma, the eastern law of cause and effect, is important in the passage to power. Most people link karma to bodily reincarnation, but it concerns, much more critically, our many transformations in the life time. We are on a spiralling journey of beginnings, endings and again new beginnings, right here, right now, moment to moment. What comes has surely to go one day, nothing is permanent, but everything leaves a trail behind.

Let me visualize this into the three P’s. Let us consider ourselves as ‘PRODUCTS’. We are the product & all of us are discrete and distinct from each other. None of us look alike; neither have similar fingerprints, each of us have different capacities and different potentials. Some are hyper dosed with smartness & some are just dumb! It’s like differentiating the superior and inferior breeds of diamonds but still, a diamond is a diamond, right! And so whatever we are, we exist – the luckiest fact. We are the one responsible for making us what we are today. Our deeds and our karma is a part of nature and these are the building plinths of making or breaking ourselves. Karma is the ‘PROCESS’, The process where we learn new things, adopt a new change and face even the most bitter fact of life and accordingly we carve ourselves as a product. I see people crying for marks, smoking & boozing for heart breaks, distracting path for money, misleading others for self-motives etc but I don’t understand, how long you are going to take it with yourself? Nothing is immortal… everything that comes has surely to go one day. Marks, money… etc they just act as the bounding materials to the development of the process… but the words that comes through your conscience are the truest. Love yourself first; your life is a part of nature. You are the vanity of nature, first; American or Indian, Hindu or Muslim second. Because; it is for sure that everything that fails gives a larger success, everything that ends gives a chance to a new beginning & everything that hurts, teaches the importance of happiness! And all these are a part of our upbringing – the ‘PROVENANCE’. Our ethnic values, morals, family, society and all the things that contributes as nurturing environment helps us to grow as the same. We are dwellers of divided society. We are born & brought up accordingly & each of its impression reflects in our act. We are meant to be different. No one is great neither too small. We all exist as individuals & we have the right to exist in our own way. We write our own fate, we make our destiny & if this sag of skin, muscles and circulating blood permits its best collaboration with the most powerful organ of the universe – brain; we can even be our own god!

 PEACE!!

What’s in breakfast?

dscn0275

SEV USAD

India has almost 1121.8 million of population out of which almost 800 million people resides within the western zone. Every morning, after the beautiful sunrise, million of these people are hunger struck before going to their routine chores. Sev Usad and chai (tea) is considered to be the most popular breakfast among the people of Maharashtra and Gujarat.

Sev is basically small fibrated dried chick peas paste with spices and Usad is thick gravy of water soaked peas with a tint of cumin powder and red chilli powder. Generally, the sev is sprinkled over the hot usad. The most interesting thing in this dish is its salty and tangy taste that i felt at the tip of my tongue also its spicy  but it doesn’t attacks our tastebuds. Sev Usad is garnished by chopped onions and tomatoes with mouthwatering tamarind water and melted jaggery pieces and generally served with a hot cup of tea or white bread to neutralize the effect of spice.

I rate this 3/5. Rate it up. Awaiting for your comments. Thanks for reading.

Cook it up, MOM !

2350778044_c29ca476c4_m1 MACHER JHOL(FISH CURRY)
Last night i had a row with my mom. She said the genX children have forgotten to follow their culture, as in Saree is replaced by jeans, first language replaced by english, shastriya sangeet ( indian classical music) replaced by rock songs with the shattered lyrics ufff…! and so is the  condition with cooking. Inspite of eating the healthy homemade food, today’s generation demands junkies more. Apparently, i dint agreed on what she was trying to tell me. Usually, i go up to my terrace when i feel down :) and so i did last night to talk with the stars, i kept brooding on my mom’s words and literally saying i really felt she was right. It’s not only my mom, its the story of every house having genX kids. For instance, my friend had puja in his house, instead of wearing kurta he wore jeans- that’s out of tradition. Look at me, i’m a bengali girl but do i have any feature like one ?(no long hair, no shining skin, no good vision neither a perfect diction of my own language) But one thing that authenticates me being a bengali is enjoying a delicacy of Macher jhol (fish curry) with hot served Rice.
Every Sunday we keep a feast in our home and my relatives come to enjoy the homemade fish curry prepared by my mom. Though its a staple food for bengalis, south indians and some konkans but trust me, there is hardly any other dish which can take fish lovers into high spirits !
Macher jhol best tastes with Rui (Rahu) fish. First of all, the fish is marinated with turmeric & salt for 20 mins. After that it is fried in any vegetable oil. To prepare the gravy, take a table spoon of mustard oil in a pan and keep it to turn hot for some time. Add onion seeds (kalaunji), onion, ginger-garlic paste, red chilli powder and saute till it crackles.Now make a paste of turmeric, salt, chilli powder, coriander powder and add it up in atleast 6 cup water. Let the paste get diluted and then add it to the saute mix. Cover the pan with a lid and get it cooked for 20 mins. on simmer. Serve hot with Basmati Rice. A perfect afternoon meal.
It taste little salty and spicy with a mouthwatering aroma of the freshly chopped coriander garnished with green chillies.

 

I rate it 5/5. Thanks for reading !

Silent Assassins

AS TOLD BY MY BROTHER.

panorama after dark

             After two long years of hard work, i finally got admission in BIT patna. Leaving almost everything – my family, my dearest pals and my cattie… i boarded for patna in a hope to make a new life. As soon as i reached BIT, it’s brilliant environment with large white painted buildings with a tint of grey on the roofs, entrance angel fountain, tree covered limits and its people took my breathe away. The students here were completely different – simple yet elegant, difference and desires in those aspired eyes shaded behind the thick spectacles, unkempt face and reflecting their deepest knowledge in their tone as they spoke up. I am a timid fellow. I see fun simply in books and friends. Coming here and settling down was indeed an acheivement for me after all the chosen one can get to see such wonderful surrounding. Definitely, the guys who study here have acheived a lot but not enough to take their frustations out in all non-viable vices. Drinking, smoking, blue films, girl friends, hangouts damn! These are the things most of the boys are interested in here! Am i going to get spoiled? No… i have to stick to what i’ve been here for. Nevertheless, these are the days of fun, i can’t comment. With this thought i laid on my bed to consolate my suppressed desired whose wings were already ignited.

3:00 am, 12th January

“Dhab dhab” an ungentle knock, someone was definitely on the door. Yes, i woke up in amazement. After all who can knock door at this mid night even after being aware of the hostel laws. I saw my room mate but he was sleeping, so i got some courage and opened the door and i saw NO ONE.  I swayed my head towards the north wing and i was taken aback. Bhanu bhaiya.. he was lying on the corridor. This scene freaked me out & in a rush for help i called my other seniors in nearby wings. They took his body to take a glance of his nerves. He was still alive but was needed to be taken to the nearest health centre. His right wrist showed some blood drippings  showing the utmost attempt of suicide. I was scared, taking no time suraj-my room mate called me. He looked at me with his intriguing eyes and with a little pause started to tell me Bhanu bhaiya’s story.

Bhanu was not only a book smart but equally a talented and street smart guy. After giving a blue eye to lots of brilliant students and quota reservers he finally made to BIT amongst the top 5. He worked throughout his childhood to be a part of this institute and completing his dreams and being a part of this institute, he desired to do all those things that he never did or never got an oppurtunity to do. Sooner he started drinking. why not? that is the everlasting mark of every engineering students, specially boys.  He owned a band called”mantra”. Some of his band members were drug addict too! They used to smoke it off before any of their performance. Suzanne was their lead singer. Bhanu bhaiya loved this girl so much but she… huh! never cared of him though they had an affair. Soon Suzanne ditched Bhanu and since that day his just a trial to the taste of wine turned him alcoholic. He could not sustain a single day without dropping his tears for her and drenching up his thirst with the hard drinks. His mental as well as physical conditions were very suppressed.  Almost 4 years passed, Suzanne got a good placement in wipro and bhanu, sitting in the same class now turned the senior of his very own class  lamenting for his mistake and getting depressed day by day. Poor boy.. Overconfidence, yeah.. his contemplation of desires, abilities and overconfidence indulged him in the worst vices which finally resulted into sucidal attempt.  But this is the story of almost every IT institutes and it is seen that 90% of all the engineering colleges are filled with students over obsessed with their self-desires.

I am afraid… I hope i dont encounter similar kind of story. I think do try everything once but dont be in a confidence that you cant be addicted. We all are humans and human desires are endless… and desires, over confidence along with abilities and intelligence are the perfect silent assassins which can slowly step by step captivate your ego, mind, body and the students who come here to make their life ulitimately becomes the victim of these assassins.

A Letter to all INDIAN!

DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam ‘s Speech in Hyderabad .
Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?
We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India .. For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.
Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don’t work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name – ‘YOURS’. Give him a face – ‘YOURS’. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don’t throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity… In Singapore you don’t say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn’t dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, ‘see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.’YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, ‘Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so’s son. Take your two bucks and get lost.’ YOU wouldn’t chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand .
Why don’t YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don’t YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?

In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan .
Will the Indian citizen do that here?’ He’s right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.

When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? ‘It’s the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons’ rights to a dowry.’ So who’s going to change the system?
What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU.. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one’s conscience too…… I am echoing J. F. Kennedy’s words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..
‘ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY’

A subject of matter that has to be concerned, please copy this letter and forward it if you have true indian patriotism.

I’m the goal keeper…

football

Wonderful isn’t it? A whispering sound touched my ears while I was sitting on those green dewy grasses and enjoying the football match played by some children as one of the goal caught my attention. I looked back to scan over the unsettled deep voice that I heard and I saw HIM!

Let’s get back to past…

 

July 2004,

Doctor said I was suffering from myopia; hence forth this was the period of green revolution in my life. I was totally scared of those heavy dark “jassi” type spectacles and so I used to take a casual walk over the greens in the Geetanjali Park every Sunday evening. It was almost the onset of monsoon, completely overcastted sky and little dripping made the atmosphere clean. After one hour of walk, I sat at the corner bench gazing at those shades of grey in the sky that were about to burst anytime. Few moments later a young bubbly teenage girl came and sat next to me. Perhaps, I love praising the nature when I’m alone and her presence was an intrusion to my deep moments and so I walked out. While walking down the lane towards my home I saw a very charming guy – very fair, hazel brown eyes, dark curly hair, meek and totally submissive but, on a wheel chair. I stared him for few minutes to check what exactly he was looking at and suddenly he turned his eyes towards me, I felt disgusted and started moving on. But one thing I did notice he showed no reaction even when he saw me staring him. That was a relief, I felt as if I committed some crime. A week passed and I forgot the incident and without any hesitation I went for another walk the next Sunday. This time I went little late unfortunately rain was the reason. I was walking when I saw him again and this time he was not alone. The teenage girl, who intruded the serenity of my soul, 7 days back, was actually holding his wheel chair giving him some consoling words. Ok! Enough! I hate mysteries and until I solve them my dignified mind turns its pace. Instead of sitting after the walk, I preferred standing and watching what exactly the guy keeps looking at! I saw him gazing those little boys who were playing football just few yards ahead. Alright, now I decided that I’ll be taking walk everyday until I find what his story was. The very next day, I went out to the park exactly at the time when he along with that lady used to come.

 

Hi there! – My first words to the guy. No response, strange! how can he ignore people. Stubborn, nuh… he is already unblessed, he won’t want it more. With these sore thoughts I walked out but keeping an eye on him. I started noticing that perhaps I was not the only one whom he ignored, but all those people who came and wished him were also ignored including teenage girl. All that caught his attention were the children playing football. I sat on the corner bench and the teenage girl came again. This time I didn’t walked out… but I talked to her. Her name was Mou… and she was the sister of Aahan, the guy on the wheelchair. Mou was 15 just like me and his brother was 4 years elder than her. Gradually, within three days we turned good friends and that was the point I started asking her about his brother. Aahan… was the student of Bhavan’s. He was playing football since he was 6 years old and by the time he played two nationals and was the goal keeper of Gujarat’s football team. His friends used to call him the white ninja.  It was the eve of Christmas 25th December, 2002; Aahan went Ahemdabad to celebrate Christmas with his cousins.  On this very night, all of them got drunk and were returning towards their home while he had an accident where in he lost his two legs, his left eye and 6% damage in brain that paralyzed his entire left portion of the body. Mou was very talkative but she suddenly stopped as Aahan uttered the three glorious words of his life “That’s my goal” I don’t know what I thought but I clapped as it was a real victory for someone. As I was clapping, mou behold his brother’s hand and made him clap and that was the first day when Aahan gave all of us a big smile. I felt satisfied as I do when I work hard for something and I achieve it. Mission accomplished! Then onwards I started following my old routine, which is visiting the park every Sunday. A month passed and I didn’t saw Mou and Aahan coming to that park again.

 

It was the one of the pleasant Sunday evening of November, I was sitting on the grasses and watching those kids playing and shouting, I heard a voice saying “wonderful isn’t it?” I looked back and saw Aahan and Mou smiling at me blissfully as if I changed somebody’s life. After a little chat with Mou, I came to know that the signs of response to people actually cured up his paralysis and that he dedicated his two months to physiotherapist as he desired to coach these kids who regularly played football in the park.

 

 

“Things never go as planned. You always have to roll with it. I’m about as ready as I’m going to get. However ready that is, we’ll find out. I don’t have the answers for you. Nobody does.” – J.P. Losman (American football player, 1981)

 

 

 

 

 

The cool cab guy

track

“One person with passion is better than forty people mildly interested.

Nothing  great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.

Chase down your passion like it’s the last bus of the night.”

 

It was one of those high humid days in Mumbai whence I was traveling through the lame but crowded streets completing the chapters of glamour world well known as ‘Mayanagari.’ The low nimbus clouds were peeping and the buses stopped. I had to travel 30 km more to reach home before the time passes me by. I was walking in search of some transporter but in vain. I felt so lonesome though there were thousands of people walking, talking, and hopping by themselves. In due course I saw beautiful glimmering skyscrapers lying besides the crashing waves, the shops were brighter than the lightning struck in the sky. I was barely able to take my eyes off from those wonderful attires hanging on the perfect manikins just enough to lure a lady. Gosh! Everyone has a dream; everyone wants to get noticed… at least once! When my passions and desires were floating in the world of dreams a white and blue tinted cab stopped by me. “Madam, can I drop you somewhere? It’s going to rain and the buses have stopped and I don’t think the cabs would cross this one way” A young naïve boy with a glowing husky akin looked like in his mid twenties, may be; whispered from the half opened dark window. Whoa! A sign of relief!  I thought I would never reach home in time. “Perfect” I replied. A cold gesture brought a smile on the driver’s face.

After satisfying the needed queries, I started talking to him. Usually, its quite dangerous talking to a taxi driver and getting friendly is even more suspicious. But he was not bad, a whither sense of feeling somewhere deep inside me said so. Later, after small chit chat he started spilling up the beans. Sooner I learned that he was a very good folk singer, singed with his heart full of joys and that he never faced economic crisis. Jesus! Than what might have surged him to take a profession of a taxi driver?Astonishing! I was curious to get through his whole story and started unveiling the curious case slowly.

Gracefully he started wheeling up his story as he accelerated the paddle. “I belong to Jaipur, the pink city.” He wobbled.” I’m brought up in a good renowned family and my family job is to adapt and spread my own cultural heritage. We all are folk singers and dancers as well. But this was not my world.” His words were strong, full of determination. “Long time back when I was a kid, I used to see those cars and lorry’s speeding up on the deserted roads of jaipur. Certainly I developed the yearning and importance of speed in my life. Yes, I love speed. I wanted to be a rash driver, even had enough money to accept the profession but no moral support. Hopefully, one day I came to know that I can fuel up my passion in Mumbai and so I left my family and came here. Unfortunately, the life here is harder than its diamond shine. No one can see the darker side, it can only be felt.” Sympathetic words, aren’t they? I consoled his emotions and marched further. He said, “Now I’m a drag racer. We do drag racing in the midnight with few other guys. Each drag racing costs around Rs.5000/-. I spend all my money along with the loan on my car that I hired from one of the agent. Earlier I used to loose those racing and gambled my life badly but now I’m the CHAMP!!” He paused and reflected a firm confidence of his passion. “Every time when I win a race I earn around Rs.20, 000/-. But they are not enough to survive here. The money washes off in car maintenance and participation fund and so to booze the hunger of my desire I’d to adapt this profession. One day, I’ll rule this city and everyone will know me.”

Wow! I’ve never seen a man like him, a man so amiable, so firm and so determined. According to me sky is not the limit for him; such people belong to rule the universe. I got a good inspiration to chase my dreams and so I penned it down, I hope you felt the same way.

Thanks for reading. 

Please understand!

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Curious & Furious, two words defined;
My life & your's together underlined.
A quick look or a long try
i waited for you to fall from sky;
My ANGEL! come down on earth in your golden rings,
I want the horses breed into diamond wings.
For those little things i cannot behold;
my story remains still untold.
I want you to search my sun's light
See! my emerging world dressed red bride!
Yes,
You etched my body with the cheasel of gold, but
my soul remains untouched, remains unsold.
I have felt the rise up in me
knelt down to clear the stones & leaves;
To wander out where can't you see me,
inside my shell i wait or the heart that bleeds?
Don't leave me, PLEASE! Listen to my pain,
a right time would invade the truth in your vein.
Every dark world had a dawn outside
i wait for the sun to see my rainbow inside.
I can see your smiling face have some gruesome sadness behind;
but unlike me, you can keep the shivers unwind.
And so i beg to keep up your coil
with a little peace, listen me for a while.
Yes,
You are the reason, my mind is in such disarray
You ain't black neither white, but all my shades of grey!


I hope the poem goes to the right person at the right time. 
Please rate and comment.
Thank you.

Butterfly flied away!

 

girl_butterfly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the garden of flowers
i was searching for a dream,
i showered my tears, and
they started to grin.

In a lost expression
i sighed at them, baffled!
I hold them yet softly,
they slipped off, dazzled!

I ought to run after,
winds took a chance;
My little feet stumbled
when peahens rain danced.

I stopped to hear by -
The carefree whisphered songs;
the dance of glory & joy
That brought the wonders along!

I saw the flowers, lying dead!
Oh No! my dreams are shattered
the caterpillar rode over the petals,
they stinged my rising ladder.

Oh caterpillar! why did you kill?
the little pleasures of my life;
I chased my dream & you thrilled -
The answers to survive!

The cold breeze passed me by
i saw the cocoons spinned;
For something that poisoned my mind
Graved the little thing.

As shadows cast, i saw a shine
Thoughts were up & swayed;
For i found my dream; in a silken thread
As,

Butterfly flied away….
Butterfly flied away ….

ThE tHiNg CaLLeD hEaRt MeAnDeReD aGaIn!

HEY EVERYONE… I TRIED  TO WRITE SOMETHING SOMEWHERE NEAR A SONNET… BUT I DONT FIND IT SO. HOPE YOU GET THE MEANING.

 

 

Dark was the wood, i was walking by;

Two roads emerged before my eye.

 

Forth was the road of thorns and roses spread,

Peacefully inviting the cold blood shed.

 

In through my mind, i dodged my sight,

Later road indeed was mild and bright!

 

Together with i stand, stopped to stare

At a point so numb to decide worth least to share.

 

Venture took the throne, my body was shaken

Fortunately i recalled- “The Road not taken”

 

For untrodden path was the best i can get,

Because trodden is the one where all can bet!

 

Gently did i put, the soft steps on first;

The thorny bushes asked my blood to quench their thirst.

 

One by one, i stepped over the flock,

Marched ahead with a slaying state of shock.

 

Frolic and disport, the pain stacked on me;

Happily did i smiled to accept the agonies.

 

But, lamenting to aside, second path of wood;

Lost doth to ease where i should?

 

On and on my feet got sore,

Nothing was seen ahead, except a dark core.

 

And so skeptical does my mind hoping fear-

Watching the shattered bridge of my life with brimming tears?

 

A cease like frost invaded my try,

Tried and tried until i died, inside, it was a lie!

 

Deep inside i scream lying bare on bush

No one heard my single cry until i dragged and pushed.

 

I kept myself crawling lonely to the wind

Breaking over my body the aviary string!

 

And in a wish – meek and brittle;

To walk on path laid with petal-

 

Where sun was gold, tulips din’t fay;

Merrily would i live, pretty things to say.

 

But before the dream was slaughtered and slain

The thing called heart meandered again

 

AND I KEPT CRAWLING AND CRAWLING TO DARK…

A Letter to god

Dear god,

As you know, being the prophet of my life, I’m turning 20 today. Thank you! I have no complains left coz you made me stronger and I know whatever you do, you do it for me to believe in you and your existence. Thank you again for giving me a blistered life in this burning planet, 20 years in flames burned me from head to toe and you did what, provided it with oxygen!  Thank you for letting me know that I’m my best mentor, in times of your real guidance I found you nowhere but within my loneliness smiling as pretty as a pun of my life. Thank you for being my best friend; every time when I needed help I searched you everywhere, I searched in the woods, in the river – the mountains and the oceans, in the deads or the alive, in grief or a smile, In love or in dark pain everywhere did I seek you but you were, huh.. You were busy fetching richness to the rich and sorrows to the poor. I HATED YOU, coz you were doing injustice until I realized that injustice was the thing I’m preaching too. I cannot be you, I peeped deep inside my heart and in a small corner I actually found you, you were me and I was you and since I am you, I am my own best friend. Thank you for letting me know that peace comes from war, if I never fought, I never would have known the way to stand up with broken legs! Though they stumble but I know they will never fall until I keep trying to raise a war with myself just to know that peace and hope does exist! Thank you for caring about me, every time when I was in pain you asked me to walk over the broken glass just to add a pinch of salt to the wet bruise. Thank you for giving me what I wanted the least, the materials, the agony, the hate, the ignorance, the jealousy, the pride, the departs, the betrayals, the fate… It would have been a big disgrace to call myself a human on this earth if you never gave me these things! Thank you for teaching me, how to survive when I’m dying, how to love when being hated, how to smile with pain, how to sacrifice if blamed, how to walk when paralysed, how to talk without a sound, how to sleep in cold nights, how to dream with salt in my eyes..! Thank you for showing me your thousand faces, every person I meet here is just another you, so much of you, Just enough not to let anyone to come and penetrate my life.  I’m not ashamed for loosing my emotions, I’m not ashamed being called as a rock, I’m neither ashamed for believing in the right neither afraid of speaking the truth. I’m no more afraid to be alone; being alone gives me all your power, the guilt inside me had died long back and you are the reason for it, Thank you again. Now I know what a fool I’ve been searching you everywhere but not searching myself within. You blessed my life with struggles; you kept testing my patience and now I know your plans, you sniffed my life I’ll sniff yours, I happily accept your challenge as you almost tore me apart but, but, but…. you failed to break me, you know why god? Coz if god exists, then evil does too and so if you exist I have to exist too!

 

Your loving shadow,

Pria

30/11/2009, Monday.

Singulars —-> Plurals

When I was in school, I had English as a first language. I thought ‘singularity’ & ‘plurality’ is grammar & grammar was awesome! J. My words revolved around the world of  ‘s and s’. It always amazed me as in how a ‘goat’ can turn into so many ‘goats’, you know! ;)

Then I grew up, I came in college, outside my own carapace, my own legacy. Things were still same, grammar was still awesome & yes offcourse, not understandable to many ;) . BUT, every story has a twist! ;) . As the sense of a new world was building in & around me, I too was catching the flu of new grammatical rules. Yet, grammar was still same, singulars & plurals. The only thing that changed was – the theories! J Yes, a very unique & LOVED theory, a theory where every random species of the genera, irrespective of their own classification (i.e. whatever category of faculty, department or class they fell in) was desperate to learn one, the theory of SINGLES & PLURALS. J People in campus were fanatic about this new grammatical world. Some were even creating their new hypothesis “Experimental grammar” & some “Serious grammar”. Isn’t it a breath-taking fact that once hated subject, suddenly turned viral & started spreading amongst the community at a rate faster than the so called “kolaveri di” song??? LOL ;) Every eyes I met around still had an ‘S’ thing in their mind in either way (i.e. ?’s or s’?) However, this ‘S’ gave way more pleasure than any other S’s you might have learnt in grammar throughout your life!! ;) LOL  As a consequence, today, every Singular person around me in some or the other way is transited into a Plural body!! ;)

BUT, in the end, the story still remains the same – Goat turns into Goats; with a by-product of exponential population explosion. Now isn’t that amazing???? ;) LOL (Pun Intended!)

 

Pria